Wonderful Adoption Links & Other Sites Related to AdoptionSylvia's Adoption Page:
Coyote Red Hawk's Adoption Page:
Deitrah's Touched By Adoption:
Kay's Adoption Site:
Dawn's Adoption Site:
Karen's Adoption Page:
Nina's Adoption Page:
MaJules Adoption Registry and Links:
Dymentia's NY, NJ, & PA Registry:
Her Heritage Maiden Name Directory:
Horus Genealogical Registry:
Geneology's Most Wanted Registry:
Ancestry Library Search:
Lots of Links to get started in Geneology Search:
Search by Email addy, Phone #:
DataBase America Search Engine:
Find People Fast:
Starting Points People Finder:
Who? Me? Search Engine:
BigFoot Search Engine:
Alana's Adoption Site:
An Adoptees Right To Know:
Forget Me Not Family Society:
Voices of Adoption:
Voices For Open Records:
T.I.E.S. - Help searching for terminally ill.:
I am a Birthmother, my son was born on April 28, 1976. I was too young and unemployed and still in school to boot, so I did what everyone else felt was best for my child. The Birthfather, Charles Read literally disappeared after I told him that I was pg. I would like to find him, so if anyone reading this knows him let me know (Charles Read Birthdate 10/26/57 or 56) He was last known to be living with his mother on Colorado St. in Butte, MT.
I hired a searcher back in June 97 to find him and am on the way to finally finding out who he has become.
I am very nervous about this...but thankfully I joined the ranks of netizens and was able to find other birthmothers who were in various stages of searching and reunions... I was able to join several birthmother lists(see links) and the other Bmoms have helped me tremendously.
We were never allowed to show our grief or talk about what had happened, mostly our own families didn't want to talk for fear of *hurting* us even more. I held that grief and sorrow and shame in for 21 years.. but NOT anymore. It has been hard for me to accept that I will never be *Mom* to my son but hopefully we can accept the past and build a wonderful future.
Along with all the grief and shame I experience I also had lots of anger to deal with. Anger at my parents for not letting me keep my son.. the only child I would ever give birth too. Anger at the nurses and doctors and caseworkers who told me, "you'll have more kids later, go on with your life and forget this child". I WILL NEVER FORGET MY CHILD!!!
I know that not all reunions are joyful. I know that there is alot of hidden pain and alot of denial. These are emotions that need to be dealt on a personal level. Not everyone can do it, but with the help of other birthmothers, therapists and time I believe that all birthmothers and adoptees can heal.
On November 15, 1997 I talked to my son for the first time.
We haven't set a date to meet face to face yet! But it is forthcoming.
Jan. 98, I got some pics from him... WOW!!!!
We have finally met.. October 18, 1998
January 2000 ... I was supposed to see my son in Feb. 1999 but he couldn't seem to make time for me. His wife was pg at the time. March 30, 1999 .. I called and found out that his wife had had a miscarriage. I really felt sad when I heard this. So here is is January 16, 2000 and I have not heard a word from him. I have spoken to his wife but she is no help and when I try to get him on the phone he leaves the answering machine on. I don't know what went wrong and I guess I will never know as he won't talk to me either by phone or by mail. I guess I am somewhat rejected or at most "in Limbo" ...
ADOPTION SHOULD BE ILLEGAL!!!! Adoption Laws need to be changed. Adoptees need to be able to obtain their birth certificates (the ORIGINAL not the amended one). One group, BASTARD NATIONS is rallying to get this done. I highly recommend that you visit their website and see what they are doing.
If you are interested in searching the best place to start is by registering with ISSR
International Soundex Reunion Registry P.O. Box 2312 Carson City, Nevada 89702 (702)882-7755
It is free to register. Or visit their website at http://www.regday.org/isrr.html
If you follow the links at the right you will be led to some more great places to register your information, look someone up or just surf on thru.